22

Today is my last day of being 22, so I thought I’d reflect on the past year of my life, since I don’t really do too many personal posts.

It didn’t take long for the novelty of being 21 to wear off. I think this past year was my transitional year, trying to assimilate into adulthood. I didn’t really have high expectations or goals for this year, as I knew I would still be in school and I was about to start a new job. A month after I turned 22, I found myself trying to juggle school and work, and for a while, I immersed myself in it. Waking up at 6 AM every day for school and working on the weekends was definitely not the business, but I told myself that I had to do what was necessary to secure my future. I rarely had time to spend with my friends, and even blogging started to seem like a chore.
Without making time for myself, I slowly but surely wore myself down. Sure, it was great to be working on my financial status and obviously school is always first, but how much was too much?

Eventually, I found myself no longer enjoying the things I used to enjoy. I was tired, stressed, and anxious 24/7. I inadvertently pushed away some of my best friends. My healthy eating habits and knack for challenging workouts completely went down the drain. It got to a point where I knew that I was spiralling downward, but I felt trapped and didn’t know what to do. The only times I felt completely happy in the past year were the times that I didn’t have any responsibility and was able to get away. I’m sure you can see it in my pictures and writing – I was happy while on vacation, and felt like a robot when I wasn’t.

Over spring break, I realized that I was completely happy when I had my priorities straight and wasn’t so concerned with being a full-fledged adult. Shortly after, I knew exactly what I had to do. I had to put school first, only work as often as I could handle it, and re-learn how to find joy in things that I liked to do. With the help of my mom and my best friends, I was able to push through the reality-slap that was my twenty-second year of life, and I’m hoping to start 23 off on a happier note. I don’t want to set super high or unrealistic expectations, but I definitely want to be the best version of myself.

Pants and Jacket made by my mom; Bralet from Boohoo; Makeup and photos by Peter Pratts